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O Memorie II

by O Memorie

/
1.
i’m connecting all the dots and what’s in front of me i’m collecting specks of missed and wasted energy in a spark of genius far from previous soul battery that’ll be the one scared soul bared, bold and unfolded in time, just maybe. maybe it’s enough to let loose that noose, Millhouse or forgive the odd fond memory of former Famous Grouse or maybe i’ve just got more to lose, more easily bruised but wouldn’t you want to try if it’s lying there in front of you. careful where you step my reputation’s fragile worn and weathered and i wear it like a badge i’ll tell you this for free there’s plenty left to fix here hell is missing me now i’ve found that elixir. only you know what i’m capable of only you know what i’m made of. only you know.
2.
Meteors strike and i feel it in my head while i’m thrown from my bike and my skin is bright red and i’m covered in leaves bleeding shards of gravel greater than my body can take and i’m slipping back to wake and it’s too late to free myself and wrestle the pimm’s cup though i do my very best to press the rest of my limbs up, dressed in hagridden drag hidden deeply in sleep seeping out through my sleeves leaving sirens on the wall screaming silent and small it’s inside of me it all is inside of me it all is meteors strike the very next night and like clockwork it rocks earth and wraps me up tight when it happens this time i get ready to fight, throw a punch at the wall and hope i make it to wake it’s a half blink away think and stay blink awake my lids are losing light quick fickle fuckers won’t stick figure everyone’s got their own pill they’ll take but i’ve swallowed the night and it’s making me sick it’s making me sick it’s making me sick we meet at yours right by the beat up porch nightlight in hand and a necklace in the other you kept from your mother you said i’ll sleep like a babe all smothered in bed as quiet as a grave i took your hand you dropped the nightlight standing in the dark surrounded by glass like we hit a piñata confetti is cast across the wood and i feel for your face and at last i’m lost for good
3.
scratch all you like it couldn't be further from the truth even if you called all night i can hear you in the morning i can see you playing with the light orange when you're up like an unexplained phenomenon and then it's gone i can hear you in the morning i can see you playing on the lawn i can tell my eyes are open but my mind is not quite turning on goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight my oh my oh my oh my oh my you couldn't do more harm than this even if you really tried i can oh god i can see it right before my eyes eat up all my plans just like wow like a freak wreck hurricane on mars red carnivorous cloud i can tell my eyes are open but my mind has not quite made it out.
4.
Monterey, CA 02:58
so i’m in the middle of subzero progress trouble is that most lessons are part of the process but i’m stepping back a grade, a poor pathetic accolade like stepping backwards into my own dagger blade it took shelley a week to forget me something in the water taught her she never met me for all the times that i told myself i knew her i took a piece of my mind like a tumor. why wait for what is only the night so quiet, not a parrot in sight gathering dust on a chair that divides us shadows dance with the sorrow inside us why wait for what is only the end i’ve lost such a valuable friend still i feel the static friction below still i wait for i can never let go. it happened in Monterey just like i said so acting like you wanted me as i hung my head low i tried to warn you California cannot love you when you go on about there’s no one else above you we reached Los Angeles and handled this poorly we had our fun, just know you shall be missed sorely.
5.
English translation: I’ve begun knowing the risks of living too much inside your own head. They’re kinda hard to see ‘cause they hide very well behind the “long-term” side of things, and nowadays everything is “short-term”. Immediacy overwhelms any concern one might have for the distant future. The Now drowns us. So we’re constantly searching in our heads for a memory or some future, but that exists outside of commitment. That’s why for some of us it often feels safe and comfortable, ‘cause it’s a way of imagining and living the “long-term” through fantasy, without having to make any effort towards making it reality, without having to really live it, with the risks that implies — like the risks that are implied in any reality, I guess. But, I’m know I’ll regret it in the future. I mean, I already do, but yea. Idk, I’m not sure I understand it quite well yet, tbh
6.
peace+lava 04:18
i’m done with this existential crisis why’s this so hard to feel a shard of something catharsis it’s like a ritual in praise to Dionysus twice as hard to quit you all in days that i’m an artist. i’ve dug so deep i’ve gone and hit the lower mantle peace and lava seep like little whispers in a tunnel and still i’m digging while my head is like an anvil hands full, lighting candles tangled in my shovel. okay i’ve got a history of wild behaviour style my failure like i missed a spot dusting but i’m trying to overwrite this level of my mind like Charles Xavier trying to save the slightest chance for you to come and trust me. trust me, i know, i know it’s hard to take and maybe i’ve got more to learn before i earn your amity you must be wondering if you’ve made a mistake well make it please and wait and see, have faith, have some humanity.

about

I hardly know what to say about this collection of songs. I feel them all. They're not what the big cats wanted, and so they feel extra special to me. My family really likes peace+lava, my friends really like spark of Genius, and no one can make their mind up about meteor strike. I love that my good friend Carlos Boscio (aka Días) created un refugio inseguro and I'm so grateful to him for being a symbol of community that o memorie is fortunately fated to embody. I want the heart of o memorie to beat outside of the ribs and outside of the bedroom where it was conceived (hehe). I love o.m. more than any experience, more than any gift, far far more than myself. Right before releasing this album, I listened back on the songs I'd written under o.m. and they're so messy and stream-of-consciousness and poorly crafted, but listening back I only heard my honest thoughts sung and spoken aloud in a way that I was never able to do before I let go and wrote as o.m.. It was like I could finally create for myself and for my fears and for my hands. I'm not feeling well at the moment, and perhaps I'm releasing this as a quick grasp for gratification and affirmation, but I think more than that it's a reminder that I was lost when I began o memorie and I'll be lost either way, but the music makes me feel. The sad music makes us happy! It's fucked up, but it's greek theatre, and that catharsis should be treasured.

it's not a lot, it's 6 songs, but it's about time I give this ep to the people that might make some use of it.

credits

released March 28, 2019

Joseph Ruddleston
Mairi-Clare MacLean
Carlos Mario Boscio
Myles McCabe

thank you friends.

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O Memorie Brooklyn, New York

"O Memorie is at times dark and haunting as it is bright and up-lifting. The songs are thought provoking and powerful. One need not wait until the dead of night to listen to them, as they sound just as good on an overcast afternoon." Divide & Conquer Music ... more

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